Things caravanners never say

Whether it's the love for the open road, the thrill of finding the perfect campsite, or the joy of having a mobile home, there's a unique charm to caravanning. But there are some things you’ll just never hear a true caravanner say.

“Honey you parked perfectly, first time!”

Yeah, nah, parking a caravan is a passion killer for sure. Get our top tips on reversing and parking a caravan here

“Setting up the awning is my favourite part!”

Who doesn’t love a good puzzle? Especially one that involves poles, pegs, and a good chance of turning into a human pretzel. The joy of getting everything in place just before it starts raining is unparalleled.

“We don’t need a checklist. We always remember everything!”

A caravanner without a checklist is like a fish without water. From levelling ramps to the can opener, the checklist is the Holy Grail of caravan packing.

“I’m sure the weather will be perfect the whole trip.”

Caravanners are nothing if not optimistic, but they know better than to trust the weather forecast. It’s all part of the adventure—sun, rain, wind, or occasional snowstorm in the middle of summer.

“I just love emptying the toilet cassette.”

Nothing says “holiday” quite like managing your own waste. It’s a glamorous task that every caravanner looks forward to with great enthusiasm. Or not.

No need to wipe your feet before coming inside

Who doesn’t love a muddy floor in the van after all, plus spending your time cleaning the floor is so what you want to do on holiday.

“We have plenty of space; let’s bring more stuff!”

Every inch counts in a caravan. The art of packing light is a skill perfected over years, and suggesting otherwise might just get you a one-way ticket to the tent.

“Keep the windows closed while we park, you don’t need to hear my directions”

Yep, spotters are key while parking your van, and don’t forget to open your windows!

Yes, of course I took the drawbar and depth of awning into account when booking the site

Legally, there is a minimum site size a caravan needs, so don’t forget to let us know the van size including the drawbar and the size of your awning for the site width.

So, there you have it. Next time you’re at a campsite and hear one of these phrases, you’ll know you’ve encountered a rare, possibly mythical creature—a non-caravanner pretending to be one. Happy caravanning!